Lets play War of the Human Tanks

Chapter 4: 'Kana was Awesomely Awesome'

This is a brave story of the Human Tanks who valiantly challenged the undefeated 'Armored Train' and perished---

So, this time, I'm going to play episode 4.

No, just kidding. I've got to play episode 3 yet again.
That's because, as you know, I lost the battle earlier.
Thanks to that wicked, evil armored train!

Yeah, this is it! This five-faced thingizmo.
Even though I'd so easily passed the first and second episode, the train dropped me into a bottomless abyss like a rock, all out of the blue!
Well... I think the defeat was probably because of that wild mass-production of Aobas that I did...
I mean, that was definitely why.
I must consider a solid strategy this time.


The game restarted from the preparation screen.
In the last battle, I learned that the train has ten blocks to attack.
And I couldn't reach a few of the upper blocks, so this time I'll need to have tanks capable of long-range fire.
But this new tank 'Mogami'... it requires 1200 crates of supplies to assemble one...
I only have 3050 at the moment. If I assemble two Mogamis, it's going to be all I assemble.
Hmm, even so, I still definitely need long-range batteries for the battle.
Okay then, I'll make a compromise with Kana, which is cheaper to assemble.
No matter how high-performance the tank is, there's no point developing it if you can't afford to assemble it.
Maybe I should've developed something else?

Making a balanced team and deploying them.
Apart from the Kanas who can shoot from the distance, I have Scout Tanks, Shock Tanks, and Aobas.
I think that if you really want to let your team win a battle, the team often ends up rather unfancy, no matter the sport. Like, even if there was a baseball team that consists of nine homerun batters, the team would be hard pressed to win games.

So that's my strategy!

Okay, I've got no more supplies.
Although I did make a balanced team, I did that without thinking about the future. The most important thing that you have to balance is income and expenses. I didn't give any thoughts to it.

jI don't care! There won't be any problems as long as I win the battle!

I'm guessing I'll cry, no matter what outcome I get.

"Ready to sortie?" Yeah!


Battle commenced!
Since this is my second try, I can foresee to some degree how they might come at me.
The armored train must be on the two horizontal lines in the center of the field.
My first step is to advance my tanks over there as quickly as possible.

Aobas... I ended up bringing them to a joyless ending.
I'm gonna give you guys a good one this time.
Looks like I've developed a soft spot for the Aoba for some reason.
Anyway, let's move them forward.

I'm getting used to the way I'm supposed to handle the mouse for playing this game.
And I realized that touch-pad users will probably find it hard to play the game...
However, I know some laptop users who can use touch-pads pretty well, so maybe it won't be a problem?
No! I have no time for thinking about such stuff right now!!
Forward! Do nothing but move forward!
Oh, but the Aoba's turn is not over yet.

Aha, a tank's allowed to do something else after moving.
Geez, seems I'm still quite a beginner at this game.
But all the Aoba can do is just Attack or Wait.
Just making her Wait feels like a waste, so I'll make her attack an unknown block.

Aoba "Take this!"


Enemy "Uuu..."

It hit an enemy tank!

I destroyed one of them!

Oh my god, I did it.
I'm feeling soooo good.
Ah, I think I understand something.
The Assault Tanks like the Aoba cannot scout, but they can do almost the same thing by attacking unknown blocks... I guess.
Dammit, I would've done this in the previous battle if I'd known it.
But last time is last time, this time is this time.
I must win so I can make progress!
Next up, I'm advancing a Pochi.

The Pochi can scout. Let's have her do it because attacking would kill her.


Yes! I found another one!

She looks like a Scout Tank.
I can't attack her though, lol.
For god's sake, what's with this game!?
All I can do is watch an enemy tank come and shoot my tanks!
How scary!
Anyway, I'm gonna advance my other tanks.

Onward you go!
My plan is to discover the train as soon as possible and destroy it before it can attack me.
Without a plan, I'd just get screwed over again.

All right, I'm close enough to scout the two lines!
Let's press the Recon button.
What will I get?

T-there it is!!

Hello, my old foe. Just like before, it has five smiling faces on its side. So annoying. They look like they are sneering at me.

Oh! The enemy Scout Tank that I found earlier stepped back!
I thought she would come at me. Aha, okay, this move must show that they don't think me any threat.
I mean, as long as they've got the train, they don't need any other tanks. They must be taunting me like that.

I will kill you all!

Aoba "There!"

Train "Pushuuuu"
=> *Kaboom*!
Okay, I hit one block!
But of course it's not enough to kill the train yet.

I know! I do know that!
One down, nine to go.
I must say, the train is such a cheat.
However, I'm different from last time. I have something special this time.

And that's Kana, the Long-Range Battery.
She's very handy and can shoot from behind the lines.
You might say that I should've used her from the first, yeah, thanks for pointing that out. Sorry.
Anyway, now I can take shots at the train.
I wonder if I can reach it...

No problem at all!
I can totally reach the train.
If I advance my Kanas two or three more blocks forward, I should be able to attack all the blocks of the train.

Kana "Launching."
Catch this!

Train "Pushuuuu."
=> *Kabooom*!
I'm not done yet!

Kana "Launching."
Get one more!

Train "Poooow."
=> *Kaboom*!
Ahahaha, I'm having so much fun!
Ranged fire is kick-ass.
I can easily attack the train.
According to my initial plan, I'll keep attacking it. No matter how large its attack range is, it doesn't mean anything if it gets no chance to attack. It's nothing but a stupid huge box.

Aoaba "Take this."
=> Train "Pushuuu."
=> *Kabooom*!

I got four blocks down in a blink of an eye!
Just six more to go!!
Things have been going so well this time that I can't figure out why I lost like that before.
Next up, I'm advancing one of the Pochis.

Another enemy tank discovered!

Luckily, the train and the new enemy unit are both in the Pochi's attack area.
It seems Lady Luck's smiling on me.
Sorry, but please die for my victory.

Pochi "G-goodbye!"

Her last word was "goodbye".
That made me feel more guilty than the time when I heard her say she doesn't want to die.
Well, let's forget about her already! That's the way the game is!!
Now I have five blocks down. Just five more! Pretty awesome, if I say so myself.

My Mike sought two enemy units out!
Hmm, I wonder if I should take down the train first or those two tanks.
While I'm pondering, the train takes aim and...

Train "Poppooow!"

Mike "I knew this would happen!"
=> *Kaboom*

Jesus, you scared the hell out of me!
Yeah, right, this is not so easy.
With Mike lost, I lost the newly discovered enemy tanks as well.
I must think about nothing but destroying the armored train!!
However, I've already gotten the right half of the train down. The Aobas can't reach the other half of the train. Will I get the same result as before!?

Kana "Ei."

There, I've got the Long-Range Batteries this time. You guys are fantastic! Seriously!

Train "Pushoooo."
=> *Kabooom*
It's the sixth block!

Four blocks remain. Okay, I'll have the second Aoba atta-...

Gosh, she's not close enough.
Noooo, I failed!!!
Even Long-Range Batteries do have limits too!
Kana can only move one block per turn. I guess I'll have to wait until the train itself comes close.
I have to whatever I can to not let the train move left any further.

Obstacle set.

I've put a Mike here so the train can't go that way.
She doesn't hesitate to sacrifice herself to stop the train.
I find this situation kind of funny.

Mike "Ei!"
Train "Pooow!"
=> *Kabooom*!
It's the seventh one!

Is that a handgun Mike attacks with?
The sound of the shot is so real.
And how can a handgun do any damage to an armored train...
Maybe it has special bullets. Yeah, that must be it.
Putting that aside, there's only three more blocks to take down! I'm almost there!

But the train won't let me enjoy the good feeling. It's about to attack!

Train "Poppooooow!"

Hold on a second! How fast can you reload!?

Aoba "Hyaaah."


One of my Aobas is down.
As I thought, she was meant to be defeated.
Wait, without the Aoba, will I lose sight of the train agai---
Nope, it's still in my sight.

Ah, I have my Mike (aka "the obstacle") on the left side of the train.
When Mike is gone too, the train will go back to being invisible.
I've got to be careful not to lose her.


The train has disappeared!?
It must have moved to the right!
Dammit! Gotta advance one of the tanks in sitting in the center area.

Oh god!

There's an enemy tank there. That scared me.
I have no time for you though.

Pochi "G-good-bye."


Ugh, Pochi doesn't fool around!
Aoba, you're up next!

Found you!

I'm never going to let you run anymore. You're dying here!

Aoba "Take this!"

Train "Poooow."
=> *Kaboom*!

All right! Just two more!

Let me take a pause...
The train's live blocks are just two... and I have two movable Kanas near it...
I-I'll win! I will win!

Kana "Ei."

I'm quickly moving the mouse before the enemy can act.

Train "Pooow!"
=> *Kaboom*

Just one more block...
God, the enemy takes action. But it's not the train! I'm saved!
Hurry! Attack the train!

Kana "Lauching."


Train "Pushuuu."
=> *Kaboom*

Is it dead?

The armored train... it's not on the field any longer.
Now what...?

I did it...
I did it! I seized the victory!!

I brought the train down. I finally destroyed it.

And what's even better is that I only lost four tanks during the battle.
Though I don't know if I can say something like 'only lost four'.
Hey look at the total supplies I gained! 8100 crates!?
I gained lots of supplies again.
I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to use them to assemble more tanks.
Now I can finally see how the rest of the episode unfolds.
Part B of the episode starts.

Satou "It was an armored train model Human Tank. For the Kingdom to throw even such a thing into this war..."

Choko "Hmm, that thing is sorta outside Choko's Human Tank aesthetics."
Haha, she's talking about her aesthetics.
If someone develops something like that armored train inspired by their own aesthetics, I would definitely call them nuts.
Anyway, mission accomplished!

Castle Matsumoto.

Wait, what, Castle Matsumoto!?

Um, are you sure it's Castle Matsumoto?
I'm surprised because there actually is a castle called Matsumoto in Japan.
Well, I don't think I should speak anything more about it. Let's keep going.
So, the regiment that was trying to invade the Empire seems to be hiding in the castle right now.

Kurara is irritated by the fact that no backup has still come from the Kingdom.
And she gets more pissed off hearing that the armored train has been lost.
In the meantime, Shoutaro and his fellows are having a laid-back conversation back at their command post.

Choko "Big Bro, you see, was playing quite an important role back then! People were calling him the General from Hell, ahaha!!"

They are chatting so relaxedly...


She just told something else so relaxedly, didn't she!
I thought this would come in a much later part of the game!
But it already came out in episode 3!
Everything is screwed up. What horrible writing, haha.

Satou "It's the General from Hell that we are talking about, you know. He's a ledendary general who now only lives in urban legends."
Of course, Satou won't believe any of that. She even said he just exists in urban legends...

So, after everything got messed up, the ending video for the episode starts playing.

Here comes another tutorial.
Oh, I'm allowed to check the invasion route from the System menu.
I never noticed that until now.

Look, the connecting line is highlighted.
Apparently, as the story develops, more areas get activated.
There are a few routes to take on the map, so maybe there are some branching points in the story as well?
The tutorial goes on.

"Develop and assemble modules"
"Stock on supplies from Free Battles"
I learned there were Free Battles during the previous intermission, but I paid no attention to modules.
I think I'll take a look at them.

Now I'm on the Intermission screen.
This is the same as what I saw after episode 2 ended.
Since my tank development was extremely sloppy back then, I need to be more serious about it next time I do it.
Putting tank development aside, I'll see what developing modules is like.

Move + 1: 7000 crates
Isn't that freaking pricy!?
It totally is.
Now that I kinda know how hard getting supplies is, I have to say that the cost for this module is way too high.
While one Pochi requires 150 crates to assemble, it's 7000 crates just to develop this module.
Even the cheapest module, Daisy Bomb, costs 5000 crates.
And I've got 8100 crates at the moment...
All right then, I'm not developing anything now.
Oh wait, don't I have some modules, like the one Heshiko had? Let's find it out.

I do have some!
I have one Daisy Bomb and one Extended Radar!
Hmm, I don't know when to use them, though.
Considering how much a module costs, the modules are probably very useful. So I think I'll hold onto them until I really need them.
You know, the description says it's single-use!
Why only once!?

Instead, I'm gonna develop a new tank.
Now I know that if you develop one in Intermission, it can be assembled before you begin the next battle.
The Aoba did really good jobs, so newly-developed tanks seem useful.
Well, if they weren't, no one would develop tanks...
That's why I wanna develop as many as I can...

But I only have 8100 crates!
I don't think I can develop a lot!
For the sake of the next battle, I'm gonna have to choose between the Shock Tank or the Scout Tank, both of which cost 1500 to develop.
I choose... the Shock Tank.

Please let this be a useful tank!
At least, better than Pochi!!

I'm going to play episode 4 next, and it'll be the final chapter of this report.